Why am I so keen on helping dogs and people with anxiety to
live a happy life together?
I want to tell you a bit of my back story. It comes with a
trigger warning for domestic and sexual abuse, panic attacks and PTSD.
I talked to a person I know on Facebook earlier about a
really dark time in my life.
I was in my 20s, a lonely single mother, and had had bad
experiences with various people throughout my life. I found myself falling in
with the wrong crowd and ended up in a domestic violence situation.
It was horrible. I was separated from my family and all but
a select few friends, and I was too blind to see it happening until it was too
late.
I was abused in the most awful ways, and I turned to addiction
after addiction to help me cope.
I found the strength to walk away from the abusive situation
after a few years, but it left me with many struggles.
I was afraid of my own shadow and had developed panic
attacks.
I felt worthless and had lost all my confidence.
I eventually managed to give up my addictions with the help
of my earth angels but felt like the whole world was watching me in disgust
regardless.
I was ashamed to be in my own skin; the guilt I felt for
what my children had been through was unbearable.
I had no real friends apart from the two I had been allowed
to see.
My family barely spoke to me.
My children were struggling.
My dear darling Ruby, a Labrador who was perfect in every
way, had witnessed the entire period and all the horror that came with it. She
never did like men very much but had become my best friend.
That dog saved me from me so many times.
But I found doing anything for her so very scary.
I could barely speak to people, and when I did, I had become
a stuttering mess.
So I hated it when I had to communicate with vets or people
in the pet shop.
She was a prolific puller, and I thought people were looking
at us while I tried to walk her.
So for a long time, she did not get walked, and her claws
grew really long, but I was too nervous about approaching a groomer about it to
actually get them trimmed. After all – they were bound to think I didn’t
deserve such a lovely dog.
There were so many things I wish I had done differently for
that beautiful dog.
My one comfort is that for several years before she passed,
I had already begun an ongoing journey of learning to manage my PTSD and my
anxiety. When I got Moo, my Tibetan
Terrier x Cavalier my life was incredibly different.
He has never known anything except love.
But you see, he struggled with poor health, to the point the
poor boy was vomiting and passing blood daily and was so underweight and
clinically anorexic that it broke my heart. His behaviour was fearful and
aggressive, and I was so afraid people were going to blame me. After all – what
was I thinking, getting another dog, when I clearly couldn’t look after myself
or the family I already had? (Despite the fact I was doing so, and quite well –
I just could not see it.)
There was talk of putting him to sleep.
But I was determined to get something right for once, and I
set about learning how to help him.
I was so scared – it is terrifying, thinking about learning
new things and meeting new people. But I had to do it.
And that changed my life.
From there, I learned about canine behaviour, developed a
passion for it, got qualified and started working with dogs with all kinds of
struggles through my Locke’s Dogs – Behaviourist & Trainer business.
But there was still that nagging part in my brain that said I
am not good enough. I was getting great results with the dogs, but it didn’t
feel like I was doing enough.
And I worked out why.
After leaving Moo with my daughter, who also has anxiety,
for a week, I realised that I needed to be helping BOTH ends of the lead. I
needed to reach out to anxious dog owners as well as their dogs.
I KNOW that a happy life can be had together.
So Fun Not Fear® was born.
If you need help with your dog’s issues but your anxiety has
stopped you in the past, we can help.
Get in touch.
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